Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I just got violated by my toilet

I got here yesterday and have been adjusting pretty well so far. I've gotten familiar with my area of Tokyo, met fellow teachers and have gotten used to the stares.

In fact, I was feeling pretty good until I let my curiosity get the best of me in the bathroom. There I was, sitting on my throne when I noticed a "shower" button on it. It didn't occur to my inner George to press it after I completed handling my business.

Word to the wise, "shower" does NOT refer to the cleaning apparatus sitting .005 feet away from from the toilet. It refers to a toilet spray that provides additional cleaning to all parts of your nether regions. In reality, it's not a bad idea...for women (whom I believe they're meant for). But if you're a guy. And you're not expecting it. And the stream is relatively hot...


I was ready to kill someone. NOT the kinda culture shock I was expecting. In my country, toilets don't give enemas.

Update: 2:40am
It was recently brought to my attention that these are called bidets and are apparently all the rage in France


  1. I finished reading this five minutes ago. And I'm still laughing out loud.

  2. ahahahahaahahaha.. i remember a similar incident in tokyo when i was about 12 yrs old. My family was staying in a traditional-style bed and breakfast, so when my eye caught the modern looking remote control on the armrest, my inner scientist naturally went to work experimenting with the different buttons...
    ...whats this? an armature rotating into position out from under the seat? how about a closer look? ...*water sprays in my face* lol wrong eye got the wash that time...

    i hope since then the toilet designers have added a pressure switch to the seat, but I would not have guessed that the japanese toilets would claim such an edumacated victim in 2008! these things have been around since the the mid 80's!!! and btw, i believe that a bidet usually refers to a completely separate appliance with its own bowl, handles, etc.
    heres a link to a pic, lest you get attacked again in a different country: http://www.irvinehousingblog.com/images/uploads/2009feblate/colon_bidet.jpg

  3. i do believe that the official name is 'ass-washing-toilet' or washlet for short.

    They are no longer unique to japan, and can be found all over the world. the gf's mom has one in the downstairs bathroom.

    i highly suggest you familiarize yourself with the superior technology, since once the hygiene bar is set that high, i think its pretty hard to go the other way, if you know what i mean.


  4. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I knew it was a bidet, and am surprised you never heard of one! But either way HILARIOUS!!

    Like Femi, I can't stop laughing.

  5. hahahahaha you know you liked it...perhaps just a little. like those summer's eve commercials "do you ever have those days when you feel...you know, not so fresh?" hahaha

  6. I've been cautious of every uncertain button ever since..

  7. LOL. I came to laugh again. LOL

  8. I had my first encounter with the infamous washlet in the Narita Airport yesterday... Learned quickly to pay close attention to the pressure gauge!

  9. heh, its not a pleasant experience; are you in Japan or was it just a layover?